[chrysostom]

Literally the first result on Google.


image hosting

[dimtimjim]

So I might have an actual date with an actual female human being tonight. Will be my first proper first date ever... Any advice?

So....? Did it happen? Did she touch your wiener? Is she pregnant? Should she have gone to Specsavers?!

[chrysostom]

Predictions:

Yes/No/Yes/Yes

[dimtimjim]

Ha! You're more generous that I'd have been..!

[Topher]

I'd like to know how the middle No/Yes combination is possible?

[The Deadly]

We'll all know exactly what happened when next months Crimewatch is on.

[chrysostom]

I'd like to think it involved sitting down on a toilet seat too quickly.

[bmstinton93]

It's been postponed slightly.

[dimtimjim]

It's been postponed slightly.

Ah, she decided to hold off until just after she draws her last breath... Clever gal.

[dimtimjim]

Additional: Forgot to share with you lot, I went to see Sarah Millican last week, she was very good. Similar to her stand up seen on TV, but a little more blue in content. S'good show if you get the chance to see it before this tour is over.

And, to anyone who has seen the tour... "It's just too efficient".

[Topher]

She is much better live than on TV - and she's very good on TV. We went a couple of tours back.

[Nicola_Red]

We saw her do her warm-up here in our 150 seat auditorium (in her slippers). Obviously some of the material changed between that and the actual tour cos the "efficient" thing means nothing to me! One thing that slightly irked me is that she seemed to talk about her then boyfriend (now husband) almost incessantly. She rarely mentions him on TV so I was a bit disappointed that so much of her material seemed to be centred around him. But maybe she refined that between the warm-up and the actual tour.

[dimtimjim]

Yes, there were a few references to her new Hubby (Gary Delaney) in the show, but I don't mind that; s'wot people can relate to. Few references to her ex, too, who has gone AWOL since he split with her and she subsequently hit the big time. Gutted, fecktard.

As an overall show, wasn't a patch on someone like Peter Kay, for example, but still a quality comedy routine.

[Topher]

I didn't know she had married him, but I knew she was with him, he is good on Mock the Week.

[dimtimjim]

Gary Delaney is very funny; like a less crude Jimmy Carr.

Yip, married and living in a £1,500,000 home in Cheshire - good on 'em.

[Bruvva]

It's Black Country Day today! Yam yam yam, Bostin'! Dudley Zoo etc!

Yes I know I'm actually from a couple of miles over the border in the infinitely posher Worcestershire but as I went to Dudley Castle on several school trips, I feel connected

Also, there's a Nigel Farage joke in there somewhere.

[dimtimjim]

They're currently building a couple of new buildings for Dudley college - worked on by my own fair hand, no less!

[Bruvva]

That's bostin' news, that is.

[dimtimjim]

Bestest Daddies day ever yesterday... Still floating on cloud 9.

[flyingbadger]

Glad to hear Mr BJ has been let out Timmy.

Disappointed I'll not get to put on my Power Rangers costume.

Thanks to everyone who voted though, it means a lot to me.

*sniffs*

It was an honour just to be nominated if I'm being honest.

*sobs*

But to beat off such strong competition and to see how much you guys all care, it really touched me here.

I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for my mom.
Mom, I love you. Thanks for letting my dad sperm you up.

And I also got to thank Jesus.


The janitor at my kids school. Love you Jesus.

In fact. I love you all.

God bless you.


*starts wailing uncontrollably*

Music plays. Lights fade.

*Sighs*

I used to be a right funny bastard on here.
Hope Mr Leaky Brain Juice is better Timbo.

[dimtimjim]

Mr leaky-brain-juice has stopped leaking brain juice, but has permanent heading damage and tinnitus. On the plus side, he'll be due approx. £15-25,000 in compensation, but meh...

On that subject, we've gotta go court in a few weeks for the little pricks trial. I'm chief witness. Really looking forward to that At least he's being tried on 3 violent crimes simultaneously (police arranged this to try to give jury more of a 'character profile' that this isn't just a one off) which should help the cause.

[chrysostom]

The first time I've seen a traditional 'print media' online article about how great the BBC is: http://t.co/ZvE0OuSc43

[bmstinton93]

Today I see Mcbusted for the 2nd time. Yayyy!

[chrysostom]

I saw Elton John on Saturday - was bloody brilliant

[chrysostom]

BREAKING NEWS: MAN ORDERS FAST FOOD MEAL

http://www.star-magazine.co.uk/breaking ... ex-Wimpy-/