The place where everyone hangs out, chats, gossips, and argues
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By Adam
#70456
Here are some top tips of my own, in no particular order. They have always got me by.

1. Question the beliefs of religious people at every opportunity.
2. Buy a gas mask in case you need it one day.
3. Respect the Snuh? and realise that you cannot control it.
4. Don't trust anyone. Ever.
5. Have an alter ego.
6. Learn to talk like a pirate.
7. Buy a fire extinguisher and carry it around for self defense.
8. Don't give money to tramps, they support terrorism.
9. Keep a newspaper ready roled up to kill insects.
10. Clean up viscous bodily fluids with a tissue to avoid having a sticky floor.
11. When leaving a pub, always buy a takeout to use as a weapon.
12. If somebody tries to mug you, overpower them and steal their money. They will probably have a lot of other peoples wallets too, so you can make a good profit.
13. Don't buy things from Debenhams. They'll keep you there for hours trying to issue you a Debenhams store card. BAS**RDS!!!
14. Don't go to France
15. - Look out for American's and their 'friendly fire'
16. Remember to wash you're white shirt after eating a kebab
17. Don't give money to charity. Its your money


anyone got any good tips?
By Tom_Murphy
#70457
18. At the earliest opportunity learn what a 'Snuh' is.
User avatar
By StaticFish
#70469
Clean up viscous bodily fluids with a tissue to avoid having a sticky floor.


<cough>
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By kendra k
#70480
don't eat yellow snow.
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By StaticFish
#70484
try and beat the system at every opertunity

have a "happy-go-lucky" attitude - it pays dividents
User avatar
By MK Chris
#70485
Crime doesn't pay unless you can get away with it (then it pays loads.)
Always have a nodding dog in the back of your car.
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By Adam
#70489
call churchill.


ohhhh no no no
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By Morals
#70494
Always know where your towel is
User avatar
By StaticFish
#70495
always check the toilet paper before you sit
By Tom_Murphy
#70515
snuh. absolutely staggered by the amount of people with far too much time on their hands.
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By Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog
#70526
dont read this thread.
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By mnky
#70540
^^ ignore previous advice ^^
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By Sidders
#70718
Adam wrote:5. Have an alter ego.

So that explains who John is.
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By ~JACQUI~
#70722
never run out of sanitary pads girls!
User avatar
By Adam
#70809
Sidla wrote:
Adam wrote:5. Have an alter ego.

So that explains who John is.


oh please - let that drop. if i just explain that i quickly signed my name and scanned it...
User avatar
By Sidders
#71021
It's still funny though. If you didn't get wound up about it we might just forget it.
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By Eddie
#71028
Sidla, It is unfortuanetly human nature to get wound up about things when they are repeated again and again and cease to be funny.
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By kendra k
#71058
as you would know herr knock...

don't let the bastards get you down.
don't put your hands down my pants.
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By Adam
#71071
Sidla wrote:It's still funny though. If you didn't get wound up about it we might just forget it.


So what's the matter with you?
Sing me something new . . . don't you know
The cold and wind and rain don't know
They only seem to come and go away
User avatar
By Sidders
#71265
Eddie wrote:Sidla, It is unfortuanetly human nature to get wound up about things when they are repeated again and again and cease to be funny.

Shut up you camp cretin.
User avatar
By Adam
#71268
Sidla: Eddie could easily come back with:

Shut up you fat cretin.

I doubt he would, though.

However, its true that people get wound up about things.

Its just that you carry on with the same old song and its boring.

I signed my name John, so * what. It was quick. You saw it and jumped on the bandwagon to go on about it.
User avatar
By Sidders
#71269
Adam wrote:Sidla: Eddie could easily come back with:

Shut up you fat cretin.


He could, but would I give a sh¡t?

Adam wrote:I signed my name John, so * what. It was quick. You saw it and jumped on the bandwagon to go on about it.


It's only because it's so funny when people like you and Eddie get so wound up about petty things.
Last edited by Sidders on Thu Apr 10, 2003 1:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
By Adam
#71270
no - because we are on a messageboard and words dont hurt. it may in really life - but to be honest - you dig your own grave by carrying on with the same old material. pick something else that will get me going. been here a while and learnt not to get wound up.

Good to know, thanks!