[Adam]

how would you reply to these?

spicy sausage:

I'm getting so bored of masterbation. You know all the ins and outs, so have you got any exotic ideas to spice things up? It's getting pretty lame!

9 weeks:

I leave for basic training in the RAF at the end of the month, but I have a confidence issue with my current relationship. I will be at the opposite end of the country to my girlfriend, for a straight nine week period, and I'm not sure I can trust her not to cheat on me while I'm away. She says she'll do anything to prove she won't, but I can't think of anything I could use to put my conscience at rest. Have you any suggestions about what I might do in this situation?

move of doom:

I dont know what to do! My parents are trying to punish me!! They've just brought a new house. It's a lot bigger than the one we have now - not bad, you know ...EXCEPT THAT IT'S IN * BIRMINGHAM! I have a job, but can't afford to rent. I don't have anyone to stay with either. There's no way I'm moving to Birmingham! Please help me!!!

rubber fet:

My girlfiend wants me to go to a fetish party and she wants me to go as her slave. What can I do? I think it sounds fun, but what really happens at these places? Please help!

rabbit:

I need your help. My friend is a right slag and shags around like a rabbit. When I was stayin at her house this weekend, we were talkin about her and how many ppl she has slept wiv. Den she decides to tell me dat she has had a lesbian experience. Now I have nothing against lesbians, but wen ur in a bed with a girl and she says that, it gets u worried. I don't know wot 2 do. Wot do u suggest?

bored stiff:

It's 3.00 in the morning. I'm bored. Very bored. I have a bottle of cough syrup, two cats, a lava lamp and a bottle of sherry. What do you suggest to relieve this immense boredom? I really am VERY bored

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

spicy sausage: get a life size cardboard cut out of liz from atomic kitten. pair of scissors. sorted.

9 weeks: Use the guilt while you have it then when you move away shag as many women as possible.

move of doom: live on the streets... not the crap singer though cos i'd guess hes smelly.

rubber fet: are you stupid? do it but avoid men at all costs.

rabbit: ask if you can watch.

bored stiff: drink sherry, pour lava on cats. spin.

[kendra k]

adam... sounds like you're in a real crisis situation. may i suggest therapy?

[dizzy fluff]

SPICEY SAUSAGE- (chilli - painful!!)
should get a blow up sheep!

9 WEEKS- while the cats away the mice will play...... (basically do the same as what you think she will do!)

MOVE OF DOOM - card baord box should do u...... (there supposed to be very warm). try looking out side asds, tesco or sainsburys..

RUBBER FET - i would say kinky, but doesnt rubber have that horrible smell..... (and you wud probably have to wear a full rubber body suit!)


RABBIT - lay back and enjoy

BOARD STIFF - HHmmm...... use your imagination, am sure you could * up with something fun!!

[MK Chris]

spicy sausage: get a life size cardboard cut out of liz from atomic kitten. pair of scissors. sorted.

9 weeks: Use the guilt while you have it then when you move away shag as many women as possible.

move of doom: live on the streets... not the crap singer though cos i'd guess hes smelly.

rubber fet: are you stupid? do it but avoid men at all costs.

rabbit: ask if you can watch.

bored stiff: drink sherry, pour lava on cats. spin.

SPICEY SAUSAGE- (chilli - painful!!)
should get a blow up sheep!

9 WEEKS- while the cats away the mice will play...... (basically do the same as what you think she will do!)

MOVE OF DOOM - card baord box should do u...... (there supposed to be very warm). try looking out side asds, tesco or sainsburys..

RUBBER FET - i would say kinky, but doesnt rubber have that horrible smell..... (and you wud probably have to wear a full rubber body suit!)


RABBIT - lay back and enjoy

BOARD STIFF - HHmmm...... use your imagination, am sure you could * up with something fun!!

Spot the difference. Oh, Gaspode's is funnier, but that's about it.

[dizzy fluff]

ok Topher....... what wud u sugest??......

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

bob monkhouse's joke book?

[kendra k]

and thus we all know gaspode's dirty little secret.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

what? how did you find out? it wasnt my fault.....

[kendra k]

how was monkhouse's "this is your life..."? was that a primer?

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

it wasnt funny. peter kay was on for a second an even johnny vegas was rubbish.