The place where everyone hangs out, chats, gossips, and argues
User avatar
By Adam
#77817
Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."

Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?"

Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think its a little smaller than we anticipated."

Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the release date."

Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."

Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger living room; or you can use a Stacker."

Bill: "Stacker?"

Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the couch... the chairs on the table... etc. You leave an empty spot, so when you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then put it back when you're done."

Bill: "Uh... I dunno... issue two. The second issue is the light fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit. The threads run the wrong way."

Contractor: "Oh! That's easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play. You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs."

Bill: "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round, not rectangular. How do I fix that?"

Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."

Bill: "You're kidding!?"

Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way."

Bill: "...about the toilet..."

Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing to terminate and is hogging the resources preventing access from other fixtures."

Bill: "And how do I fix that?"

Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house and then you can get back to work."

Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you selling me?"

Contractor: "Hey, if you don't like it nobody made you buy it."

Bill: "And when will this be fixed?"

Contractor: "Oh, in your next house -- which will be ready to release sometime near the end of next year. Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some delays..."
User avatar
By ~JACQUI~
#77820
hmmm, sound like Microsoft Building contractors!
By Lew
#77824
if ever there was an oxymoron that made me smile more then its a program i have on my comp called 'Microsoft Works' :)
User avatar
By ~JACQUI~
#77826
Microsoft is the worst invention ever, and they are thinking of using microsoft to run aeroplaneswithout pilots! can you imagine it? you're just flying along then a message comes on the screen saying "this programme has performed an Illegal operation and will be shut down" and then you plummet to your death

Jesus, I aint going on a Microsoft plane!
User avatar
By MK Chris
#77827
Please tell me you don't believe that story.
User avatar
By ~JACQUI~
#77829
My ICT teacher told me!

And it has been reported that they are considering it, but i dont think it will go ahead cos of the dodgyness of mocrosoft!
User avatar
By MK Chris
#77833
Your ICT teacher is a liar and you are very gullible. You cannot fly a plane without a pilot.
By Lew
#77834
ha ha, that sure would be something....

'the cóckpits frozen!'
'what do we do?'
'i dunno....ctrl alt delete?'

then the airline crew would stop responding and you'd have to shut them down and turn the on again and wait for scandisk to stop running. this would happen on every flight and for some reason you'd just accept this

the in-flight movie would be replaced mid-way through by the blue screen of death.......i could go on for days
User avatar
By ~JACQUI~
#77835
No, its for like remot controlled planes first, controlled by a centeral like office thing, and then they are planning to try bigger things, it is true, just cos you havent heard it dont mean it dont exist!
User avatar
By MK Chris
#77836
Just 'cos bore.me.uk is down Mr Lewis doesn't mean you can nick the stuff on it and get away with it...

If Microsoft made cars anyone?
User avatar
By MK Chris
#77837
Baby_S wrote:No, its for like remot controlled planes first, controlled by a centeral like office thing, and then they are planning to try bigger things, it is true, just cos you havent heard it dont mean it dont exist!

It's not true. Trust me, it's just not. It would be all over the front pages if it was, plus it's physically impossible.
By Lew
#77838
ha! i semi-adapted it to suit planes. that was a genius statement by that motor company though
User avatar
By ~JACQUI~
#77839
then they would also have the Illegal operation box coming up, and it will cause MAJOR crashes, like the one in Final destination 2!
By Lew
#77841
your still wrong about the airoplanes by the way.....
User avatar
By MK Chris
#77843
Lewis wrote:ha! i semi-adapted it to suit planes. that was a genius statement by that motor company though

Yeah but Lewis GM didn't really make a statement like that. It was a joke, okay it might generate some publicity, but Christ, for the second largest company in the World it would be professional suicide.

J-O-K-E. :wink:
User avatar
By ~JACQUI~
#77844
I am not wrong, its only a rumour, but its heading towards research for it, thankyou VERY much!!!
User avatar
By Adam
#77845
Baby_S wrote:then they would also have the Illegal operation box coming up, and it will cause MAJOR crashes, like the one in Final destination 2!


or how about a major crash of your small head into the nearest brick wall.
User avatar
By MK Chris
#77846
Baby_S wrote:I am not wrong, its only a rumour, but its heading towards research for it, thankyou VERY much!!!

Baby S - find one serious news web site that claims that is going to happen and I will believe you.
User avatar
By ~JACQUI~
#77847
as i have been told many times, dont believe everything you see on the internet!
User avatar
By MK Chris
#77849
That's why I said a serious news site, like BBC, NBC, Reuters, Ananova, Sky, anything like that.
User avatar
By Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog
#77862
sky - serious news? "Rupert Murdock did another thing to support his claim as greatest living human today...."
User avatar
By Scottie
#77878
A German aircraft manufacturer has been researching the possibility of pilotless aircraft for a while now, after all, the military have been using this technology for years.

Most current planes are flown about 90% by computer these days anyway.

Doubt if it will ever progress to totally pilotless commercial aircraft though.
User avatar
By Sidders
#77926
Whatever is said about Microsoft, do you really think they would have cornered the market if they didn't have the best operating system available?
User avatar
By Morals
#77990
I'd argue it's not necessarily the best OS on the market, but the most supported OS. However, I'm going to stop myself before Scott Mills has a field day...
User avatar
By Adam
#77995
Just like my Operating Systems thread... :S

Good to know, thanks!