[TJD (on hol)]

a rgoup of computer fonts walk into a bar. "OY, we don't want your type here" said the barman.

[TJD (still oln hol)]

did you know that diahorrea is genetic? yes it is, it runs in the genes (jeans)

[Gigglyboots]

TJD - Whereabouts are you on ya hols

[Minnie the Minx]

Gosh I hate that poster with all the blonde jokes, cos I am one!!! Don't start with them, pleeeeeassssse!

I'm blonde too but I've discovered that most blonde jokes are told by men so heres my joke for them:

Q: why are blonde jokes only one liners?

A:So men can remember them!

OK it isn't the best joke but it shuts most men up.

[Matt]

How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?
Tell her a joke on Monday.

How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a torch in her ear.

[Funky Drummer]

What's a blonde doing if she puts lipstick on her forehead?

Trying to make up her mind

[LE_VEY]

What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? pregnant!

[Everlast]

And the winner is...........

how do u flood an irish submarine? knock on the door

[The Cornishman]

"Doctor I've got two * and one of them is really sore because I masturbate too much"

"Pull the other one"

[TJD (talking crap)]

TJD - Whereabouts are you on ya hols

CYPRUS (yay)

[Alex Farrell]

cool, I'm going Ourgate

[TJD]

what's big, black and full of thick semen? an irish submarine. (seamen)

[Alex Farrell]

The most geeky joke ever told:

Why do computer programmers get Christmas and Halloween confused? Because Dec 25 = Oct 31

I'm really very, very sorry.

That joke reminds me of that Simpsons episode where Bart goes to grammer school and the answer to the equation is "RDRR"!!

[Sidders]

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a pint.
The bartender looks slightly taken aback, but proceeds to pour the pint.
"That's £5 please," says the barman.
After a couple of minutes the barman decides to converse with the gorilla.
"You know, we don't get many gorillas in here."
The gorilla replies, "At £5 a pint I'm not bloody surprised!"

[MentalJargon]

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are walking through the
desert. The brunette turns to the red-head and says, "What did
you bring?" The redhead holds up a bag and replies, "I brought
this bag of food for when we get hungry. What did you bring?" The
brunette says, "I brought this pail of water in case we get
thirsty."

They both turn to the blonde and say, "What did you bring?" The
blonde says, "I brought this car door so that when we get hot we
can roll the window down."

Old but still a classic

[Morals]

An oldie but still great....

Two nuns are driving home to the convent when a vampire jumps on to the bonnet of their car.

"Quick sister", says the first nun, "show him your cross". The second nun winds down her window, leans out and shouts "Oi, you . F*ck off!"

Another nun joke...

Two nuns are riding their bikes back to the convent. "I haven't come this way before" says the first nun. THe second nun turns to the first and says, "that'll be the cobbles"

[LE_VEY]

its the olden days and three men are up for the gillatine(cant spell sorry!!) ones irish ones english and the other is scotish. anyways in those days if when the rope is let go the blade does not fall and chop ones head off that person is pardoned for all their sins, the englishman takes the wlk of shame and prepares to lose his life for what he has done and kneels down leanin his head over the board the bloke in balck lets go of the rope and the blade does not fall tand the man is free to go and live happily ever after, the scotishman steps up and prepares himself like the englishman did, he leans over and agin the blade does not drop he is also pardoned. now the irish man is confused by thisbut he steps up and leans his head over the block only he has a glance up at the blade and says, "ah ha i see the problem you've been having"

[LE_VEY]

how can you tell a blonde has been on the computer? tip-ex on the screen

[LE_VEY]

did you kno that in wales men are men and sheep are nervous

[Alex Farrell]

The Welsh have found a new use for sheep! Wool!

[kendra k]

a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants. he goes up to the bar and orders a drink. the bar tender gives it to him. so he asks for another one. and the bartender gives it to him again. they do this a few more times and then bar tender says "i have to ask, why do you have a steering wheel down your pants?" and the pirate says "arrghh, it's driving me nuts!"

hahahahahahaha, told that one on the radio.

[Alex Farrell]

A duck walks into a bar and asks for some bread, the barman says that they don't sell bread and asks the duck to leave. The next day the duck walks into the bar and asks for bread again, the barman starts to get angry and tells the duck "I'll nail your feet to the floor outside if you ask me again!" So the duck leaves. The next day the duck walks in and asks if the barman if they have any nails, the barman says no. "Good" the duck says, "Have you got any bread?"

[monkey_brain]

A man walks into a bar and sees a dog licking its testicles and says to the bartender 'I wish I could do that' to which the bartender replies, 'buy him a pint and he might let you!'

[LE_VEY]

i was gunna say that duck joke only i say it differently, coz its a rabbit walks into a butchers and asks, 'got any carrots?' you can fill in the rest........

[Alex Farrell]

ah, I've heard that version too