[foot-loose]

This thread is cracking!

I'm gonna have to think one up.

[Ballbag]

The award for the best so far
Goes today to the lovely Char -
-lalottie's her name
she's mastered the game
But I think that mine are on par.

[Boboff]

the best thing about this thread i profer
is that viv finds it boring, unlike bagfer
Foots going to give it a go
Lets hope he's not to slow
Perhaps Yudster could honour her offer.

9 9 6 6 9 I think, makes it hard though, as I wanted Yuds to offer he honour !

[foot-loose]

There once was a laddie called Zoot
Who drank coffee out of a flute
he burned his poor hand
*insert swearing - banned*
In mugs, his coffee he'll now put.

[Vivienne]

*** topic closed ***

[Zoot]

I'm really enjoying this thread,
Some posts are the funniest I've read
but when Viv seems opposed
and demands the thread closed
She can't seem to rhyme in her head!

[Ballbag]

There once was a laddie called Zoot
Who drank coffee out of a flute
he burned his poor hand
*insert swearing - banned*
In mugs, his coffee he'll now put.

Ooooh controversial, "put" may rhyme with "flute" in Scottish, but it doesn't in English. 5 out of 10.

[Vivienne]

time for zoot
to go play his floot

[Zoot]

There once was a laddie called Zoot
Who drank coffee out of a flute
he burned his poor hand
*insert swearing - banned*
In mugs, his coffee he'll now put.

Hahahahaha!

[foot-loose]

Ooooh controversial, "put" may rhyme with "flute" in Scottish, but it doesn't in English. 5 out of 10.

How do you englishers say Put then ?

"poot" is how it sounds!
Which easily rhymes with Zoot and Flute!

[foot-loose]

There once was a guy called Pat
who's Funhouse was wacky, not tat
Remember the twins?
What a set of pins!
I own a dog not a cat.

[foot-loose]

Baggie is judging my last rhyme
But he gets it wrong all the time
he's saying that "put"
does not ryhme with "flute"
i think i proved it does this time!

[Ballbag]

There once was a man from Peru
Who's limricks stopped at line two.

[catherine]

Nope you didn't sorry footy but your dog/cat one was funny.

[Vivienne]

there once was a girl called viv
who's mind wound up in a sieve (due to too many poems)

[foot-loose]

there once was a girl called viv
who's mind wound up in a sieve (due to too many poems)

There once was a person called Viv,
Who people thought of as a Div,
She was really quite clever,
Though smelt badly of heather,
With a mind just like a sieve.

It obviously is!

[DemonHorse]

there once was a man from nantucket
his name was jeff.

[Vivienne]

well done! the best one, horse !

[foot-loose]

There was a young man called Howells
Who sucked blood from dead men's bowels
In addition to this
prostitutes piss
And the dripping from sanitary towels

*this is stolen from somewhere else. Made me smile tho.

[Vivienne]

O gross...

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

I'm so proud.

[MK Chris]

I remember one I wrote at school once, we had to do it to go on a gravestone:

"Here lies the body of Frank Bruno,
He really was Numer Uno,
Until along came Mike Tyson,
Who ran straight through him like a bison."

I can't remember the last line though.

"Viv is a woman Scot,
Who many would like to be shot,
She thinks she's so clever,
Most would like her to sever,
Her head into a pot."

I couldn't be arsed to pay attention to syllables.

[Vivienne]

[Zoot]

I remember one I wrote at school once, we had to do it to go on a gravestone:

"Here lies the body of Frank Bruno,
He really was Numer Uno,
Until along came Mike Tyson,
Who ran straight through him like a bison."

And sent his head straight to the Moon, O?

[MK Chris]

I borrowed Charlalottie's 'clever' bit from a while back, cos I thought of sever and wanted to have that bit in.