[chrysostom]

By the way having a diet coke with your Mcdonald's does not count

it's good to see a reappearance from jokes used in 1992 stand up acts.

also, for what it's worth - if you DID have a large diet coke (3kcal) as opposed to a large coke (210kcal) with a large big mac (950kcal) meal it would be roughly 20% less calories. so it would count.

also, good usage of the 'vandross' burger.

[JeremyPoke]

OK I'll be more constructive with all you fatties.

1) Eat small and often (every 2-3hrs) it makes your metabolism work hard and in turn you burn more calories.

2) NEVER binge eat. Your body can only take in so many food types at one time, the rest turns to fat.

3) EXERCISE!!!!!!!!

4) Eat lot's of complex carbs like nuts, fibers, fruit and veg. Mix your diet up. You have to trick it as it gets used to what you usual eat, like the cakes and burgers you currently eat 6 times a day.

5) Join the gym and turn that blubber into muscle. Muscel burns calories thus burning fat. The more you have the less fat you have, but to gain muscle you must eat a healthy and regular diet containing a mixture of cars and proteins.

6) It's not a diet it's a 'life style change' A balance of healthy eating and excercise. Even if it means using your mobility scooters less and actually walking somewhere.

7) DO NOT BLAME ANYONE OR ANYTHING. You are fat because of YOU only YOU can change it. The reason you are probably fat is because you have self pitty and no drive to change. But that can change if you want it to you chubby * you!

NO SATURATED FATS.

I will add more tips in good time,


Think about it though.................

1. If there were no fat people, it would be cheap to fly. It takes a lot of jet-fuel these days to haul all those enormous asses around.

2. Fat people cost employers MILLIONS per year. And fat people take more sick days and are less productive. You're less likely to get a pay rise if your employer is losing money on his fat employees. (Can't fire them though, that's "fatism.")

3. Fat people jack up everyone's insurance rates and are a burden on the NHS. Who do you think has to pay for those double-wide wheelchairs?

I could go on and on but basically you should change. IT'S NOT FAIR ON THE REST OF US. Think about the starving children in Africa when you take that second helping of double choc chip icecream with extra extra cream in it!

YOU CAN DO IT IF YOU PUT YOUR ASS IN TO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Boboff]

Chrys, Troll, don't feed..........

Anyway, apparently if you have ice in your diet coke it actually uses more calories to digest than contained in it, and knock off, what, 4 calories from the big mac. Every little helps, unless the little thing is your penis, like Beadle, poor chap, then the inner rage it causes in not being able to even masterbate effectively, means you post drivel about most things.

[Boboff]

Actually, beadles, that is a good post. Thanks

[Boboff]

Indeed.
I like the Gym. Great Snack Machine.

[a-moron]

Disappointed with the return of the Poke. Used to find his offensive nature quite endearing but these posts have been the equivalent of my piss this morning. Tepid and slightly tainted.

[a-moron]

*sigh*

Yup, he's not what he once was.

I'll away and let these good folks have their thread back, sorry for imposing.

[Travis Bickle]

*sigh*

Yup, he's not what he once was.

I'll away and let these good folks have their thread back, sorry for imposing.

That twat makes your posts seem sensible and mature, badger!

[Nicola_Red]

Apologies all. Mr Poke and his IP have been banned and the more offensive posts deleted.

[a-moron]

*sniff*
I'm touched Travis, honestly. I'll take that as the online equivalent of a manly hug and a punch on the arm. Followed by a cheeky 'you're alright' wink.
I promise not to touch your generals as long as you pop by and play with my rambles from time to time.

[Nicola_Red]

Aw, I love it when we all get along

[Boboff]

Big Congratulations Charlie! Brilliant!

[Yudster]

Been away on a stressful weekend since Friday so I'm not holding out much hope for the weigh in tomorrow...

[Boboff]

Put on Half a Pound during my COnvalencence, which is ok, started again today.

[Yudster]

1lb down - never expected that!

[MK Chris]

I am exactly the same as last week, but then I had a bit of a rubbish weekend and ate far too much... on it like a car bonnet for next week.

[richbrown]

I've lost 7lbs since my last weigh in a few weeks ago. I'm starting my chocolate-fast tomorrow so I'm going to enjoy as much of it on my pancakes today and then look forward to the sugar crash tomorrow.

[Boboff]

Get some fruit in and make a fruit salad with Greek yoghurt and a sprinkle of Nut clusters...... Yum and Sugar rush, add to porridge for a good start to the day!

[Johnny 1989]

I lost 1lb last week which takes me onto 9lbs since January. I am still planning to join the Gym, however I have a terrible bad back at present (it's an old injury from when I was 16 which has come & gone but has been terribly painful over the last week and a half), I never went to the doctors back then in 1999 so I'm finally going to get it looked at once and for all as the pains are getting more frequent & worse, however although I called the Doctor last Thursday I have been told I have to wait until the 1st March to see my Doctor, thanks Mr Cameron.

I just don't want to join the Gym and damage the back further until I see the doctor about it.

[Boboff]

Your doctor will say you need to join a Gym.

Maybe...........

Oh and you need to wait 9 days to see someone who trained for 8 years, and you pay nothing for it. Stop * moaning.

[Yudster]

A GP is the last person who is going to be able to help you with a back problem though. You'll be sent for an x-ray which will show nothing (because they never do) and then referred to an NHS physiotherapist which will be unhelpful because they won't have the time or the resources to properly assess you, treat you and monitor you.

If you can afford it you are better off going to see a chiropractor instead, or if that doesn't appeal a private physiotherapist who will actually give your case the time it needs, rather than just the time they have.

[chrysostom]

Oh and you need to wait 9 days to see someone who trained for 8 years, and you pay nothing for it. Stop * moaning.

[Johnny 1989]

Your doctor will say you need to join a Gym.

Maybe...........

Oh and you need to wait 9 days to see someone who trained for 8 years, and you pay nothing for it. Stop * moaning.

Which is fine because I intend to do so, regarding waiting for the Doctors, the point is that waiting two & a half weeks for an appointment is ludicrous when they shut the surgery next door, dumped their doctors in the same surgery & our Doctors we had have cut their days down the two days a week. Thing is 3-4 years ago you could get an appointment within 48 hours, the receptionists themselves said they are being told to sign more & more patients on even though the surgery can't handle it. So not just pointless moaning seeing as they're own staff say the surgery can't cope.

I appreciate all the Doctors do for the general public, it's the governments I have a problem with, especially the current lot who really haven't a * clue.

A GP is the last person who is going to be able to help you with a back problem though. You'll be sent for an x-ray which will show nothing (because they never do) and then referred to an NHS physiotherapist which will be unhelpful because they won't have the time or the resources to properly assess you, treat you and monitor you.

If you can afford it you are better off going to see a chiropractor instead, or if that doesn't appeal a private physiotherapist who will actually give your case the time it needs, rather than just the time they have.

Everyone at work was telling me to go to the Doctors as they'd be able to sort it out, so basically don't bother then because I can't afford a chiropractor & a Doctors is a waste of time, should have gone all those years back then when the NHS wasn't so up the wall.

[Boboff]

You have never come across so ignorant before JOhny. I don't understand it, and will give you the benefit of the doubt.

A few year ago when you could get an appointment in 48 hours, was because the Surgery's took in on themselves Nationally NOT to offer any appointments at all over 48 hours, so it was a free for all, but the target of seeing your doctor in 48 hours was met.

Doctors receptionists are a special breed of menpopausal power freaks who will do all in there power to make what ever point best bemoans everything and everyone, they are not a good source, even for the Sun.

Doctors in General practice are now paid on average £250k a year, up from £80k. This was basically because someone * up the numbers, the doctos said nothing, and now some can earn over £500k. So on AVERAGE they are paid twice that the Prime Minister is paid. Now on that basis do you think there will be more or less doctors being employed by the publically funded NHS? That's right, less doctors, those same doctors who now only work 4 1/2 days a week, and don't do home visits.

BUT, exercise if the best cure for a bad back, being overweight is the worst thing for it, you don't need someone on £120 an hour to tell you that mate.

The NHS is not "up the wall" it's just been through a MASSIVE period of investment, during a period of increasingly expensive care, and increases in life expectancy. Why not just wait, it's been years, go and be told to exercise, and stop listening to all the "the countires gone to the dogs shite" It really doesn't become you.

[Boboff]

oops